AJ Ericksen's Blog World

Monday, May 22

Terrifying Hypothetical

For Feinman, who whines that I don't post to the blog anymore, here is something that will keep you from having a good night's sleep for a few days from the Sports Guy's mailbag:
Q: In college, my friends and I (all straight males) had an ongoing conversation about which NBA player we'd have sex with if held at gunpoint (I guess we got sick of talking about the girls at school). I always went with Steve Smith. Our friend Adam, in one of the most bizarre and disturbing acts of imagination I've ever witnessed, chose Larry Johnson. I still shudder at that one. Are you man enough to give us your pick? Or at the very least, your criteria for making such a decision, purely hypothetically, of course.
-- Butterfront, Brooklyn, N.Y.

SG: What school did you attend, the University of Riker's Island? For comedy's sake, I was going to pick Steve Nash because he's so unselfish, but forget that [AJE: at this point, I almost spit out my Diet Coke laughing]-- I vote for the bullet in the head. More importantly, where did Butterfront go to college? I always thought my buddy Bish went to college with the ugliest girls -- let's just say it was a NESCAC school -- where the guys actually got drunk BEFORE they went out so they could have the beer goggles going before they even started talking to anyone. But Butterfront's college has to take the crown, right? Can you imagine being so bored with the girls in your college, you felt the need to start a "which NBA player would you have sex with at gunpoint" conversation one night? Shouldn't we only be having that conversation about WNBA players?
And WNBA players can be pretty scary, too. I'm reminded of something I once heard a pretty scary looking guy say: "I'm afraid of any man who can make Serena Williams feel like a woman."

3 Comments:

  • Thanks for the love AJ. I'm going to have to go with the Sports Guy on this one... bullet to the head. I mean, NBA players, really? What straight male even thinks about hooking up with a 6'10" black guy? You'd never walk right again.

    By Anonymous Feinman, at 5/23/2006 7:16 AM  

  • Diet Coke? Surely an imposter has commandeered this blog.

    By Blogger Eric, at 5/25/2006 5:44 PM  

  • At work, I drink Diet Coke because I get it free from the fountain on my floor. To get Dr Pepper, I have to go up three floors and then transfer elevators. As much as I love Dr Pepper, that is a lot of work.

    By Blogger AJE, at 5/29/2006 11:01 PM  

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