AJ Ericksen's Blog World

Wednesday, June 23

Pest Control Pests

This "News in Brief" item from The Onion prompts a story, which I will relate after reproducing the news item:
Power-Crazed Orkin Man Burns House To Ground

ESTES PARK, CO-Neighbors and loved ones joined the former residents of 22 Everglade Pass Monday to marvel at the still-smoldering remains of the house razed by Orkin exterminator Zach Knight. "I called Orkin and told them we had ants," former homeowner Bill Danby said. "Twenty minutes later, a guy in a red polo shirt and a mask knocked on the door, told us to get out of the house, and said we should take our most precious belongings. Minutes later, we smelled smoke." That night, Danby received a phone call from an anonymous party, who warned him that "the Orkin man will be back" to perform a follow-up inspection of the property Thursday.
So here's the story. Sunday, I was sitting behind a few of the "bug boys" who descend like an Old Testament swarm of locusts on areas throughout the South every year. It's a miserable job, and we locals resent them. My ward has more than it's share of these types, usually well into their mid-20s and still plugging along in the business program at "BYU-Idaho," a name which still makes me have to stop and think before realizing they're not referring to my alma mater.

Anyway, one of them was leaning forward in his pew, propped up on his elbows and trying to ignore the speaker. And here's the rub: his buddy was tracing letters or a picture or something on his back. Sure, my mom used to scratch my back in church, and I have often seen chicks touching each other or playing with one another's hair. But these were two guys. My gay-dar went off instantly. Needless to say, notes were passed and silent laughs uttered by me and my people.

To tie this little story in with the news item above, I recount the dialogue I had with Susan, who was sitting next to me during the meeting:
SHE: Did you see what he was writing?
ME: No. I couldn't get past the simple queerness of it all.
SHE: I'm pretty sure he was spelling Orkin.


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