AJ Ericksen's Blog World

Saturday, January 31

You'll Rue the Day, Trebek!

Jeopardy host and pompous Canadian Alex Trebek in car crash.

Friday, January 30

Grades

I am pleased and also disgusted to report that this afternoon the last of my grades will finally be released from last semester, a full six weeks after the end of exams.

Big Game Preview

ESPN's Nick Bakay views the comparative merits of Sunday's Super Bowl vs. Lingerie Bowl.

It's the Damndest Thing

Whales are a tricky species.

[Thanks Emily.]

Just Plead No Contest

This Guy's defense is lousy. Granted, it is believable because nobody would tell such an unflattering lie. Still, it is not worth having your wife take the stand to say such a thing in your defense.

[A redundant link to Dave Barry's Blog, yes, but it is a must read.]

Casebook Classic

Wellborn's Evidence casebook contains a humorous passage, which is funnier when one considers the source -- my great uncle, a very conservative man. Naturally, the statement makes sense in context (but it is funnier without any background, so I give none). Here it is:

"I concur in result with my brethren on the fellatio count but dissent to the count involving cunnilingus." Summitt v. State, 697 P.2d 1374, 1378 (Nev. 1985) (Steffen, J., concurring in part and dissenting in part) (emphasis added).

Who Cares?

This is not remotely newsworthy.

WMDs

Krauthammer opines on why our intelligence failures were really more Hussein's fault.

Thursday, January 29

Church Presentation

I'm giving a presentation in stake leadership on the Sunday School teacher's role in building the testimonies of the youth regarding the Book of Mormon. Linked is the Text of my presentation.

The Super Bowl Sucks

ESPN's Eric Neel explains why the Super Bowl is always such a disappointment. To wit:

"Because defense may win championships, but it also makes for ugly football. So the Pats rattled and stunted Peyton Manning into submission. So what? All they did was rob the rest of the football viewing world of a chance to see some electrifying offensive skills at the big dance. Thanks for nothing."

Amen.

Sex Machine

Godfather of Soul James Brown is looking good.

Wednesday, January 28

Fox Network to Stoop Even Lower

Fox has a new "reality" show in the works that is basically "The Bachelor" for midgets/dwarfs.

This Link is Beneath You and Me Both

The Onion has a great piece on "self-abuse." Perhaps the only funnier treatment of this topic, without ever saying what is at issue, is the memorable Seinfeld episode "The Contest."

A sample:

"We placed ads in the back of men's magazines and newsweeklies," Hattchett said. "The sisters find that the majority of the victims who reach out to them are unable to escape their tormentors, even during a short phone call. We thought having non-threatening, soft-voiced women answer the phones would make it easier for victims to discuss the problem, but most callers only seem interested in the operators' fashion choices or whether they like to 'party.'"

Tuesday, January 27

My Paper

My Paper on confidentiality is now viewable if you are really bored. Feel free to give me feedback.

[I found a nice (read: free) web Tool for converting Word documents to PDF format.]

Monday, January 26

Surveying the Landscape of Democratic Candidates

OpinionJournal has a great rundown of the democratic candidates "Profiles in Courage" -- tackling the tough issues with waffling and flipflopping in other cases.

Pope Blesses Breakdancers

Breakdancers at the Vatican entertained the Pontiff and received a Papal blessing. Watch the video.

Darkness

Reading 1 Nephi 12:4 (". . . I saw a mist of darkness") in Sunday school yesterday got me thinking about the Johnny Cash song "I See A Darkness." Because it is such a great song, and because I want you uncultured swine to gain an appreciation of good music, Here is a download of that great song.

Someone For Everybody

Geek Romance at its highest (or lowest) point. Admittedly, this is a redundant link to readers of Dave Barry's Blog, but my nerdier friend will appreciate the craftsmanship.

Byron Scott

Byron Scott was fired by the Nets. This should have happened years ago. He's not as bad a coach as Isaiah Thomas was, but he was pretty darn close.

Sunday, January 25

Texas Bada**

I'm watching Animal Planet right now. It just featured a man from Luling, Texas who spit a watermelon seed 68' 9". Amazing!

Saturday, January 24

Krauthammer on Dean's Iowa Defeat

In a humorous but sad column aptly titled Paradise Lost, Charles Krauthammer is "bereft" over Dean's defeat. After talking about the dissappointed vegan student supporters of Dr. Dean, he adds:

"Sure, he was their hope. But he was mine too. Dean as Democratic nominee promised not just happiness but glory: a Republican landslide of biblical proportions. Big majority in the House. And so many coattailed new senators that Bush could have begun repopulating the Supreme Court with 42-year-old conservatives (like Miguel Estrada) who would serve forever."

But, we conservatives started to gloat too soon. As an example, he notes the National Review with the headline "Please Nominate This Man." So sad. As Krauthammer says, "The dream is gone."

F.D.R.

By the way, this is the passage that upset me on Thursday:

". . . The transmission from generation to generation of vast fortunes by will, inheritance, or gift is not consistent with the ideals and sentiments of the American people.

"The desire to provide security for one's self and one's family is natural and wholesome, but it is adequately served by a reasonable inheritance. Great accumulations of wealth cannot be justified on the basis of personal and family security. In the last analysis such accumulations amount to the perpetuation of great and undesirable concentration of control in a relatively few individuals over the employment and welfare of many, many others."

(Speech to Congress, Jun. 19, 1935 (reprinted in E. Clark, et al., Gratuitous Transfers 3 (4th ed. 1999)))

Although I agree that dynasties can be bad, e.g. the Kennedy family, the alternative (that the government gets your money) is far, far worse.

Fun Stand Up Material

Dane Cook has some great bits. Just click the "Audio/Video" tab, and select the Jimmy Kimmel Live clip. He talks about real guy fantasies, like participating in a heist, or owning a monkey.

Honda Civic Magic

The Honda Civic is a fantastic car. Just ask people like Paul who drive them. But This Civic is really special.

Thursday, January 22

Scientific Eating

Scientists have made Breakthrough, developing a mathematical formula to help people come to terms with their fear of chopsticks. Amazing!

Ashton Kutcher is a Tool

The Onion A.V. Club's Review of the boy-toy's new sci-fi thriller is great. Here's how Nathan Rabin describes its mindnumbing idiocy:

"Put it this way: The casting of Punk'd enthusiast Ashton Kutcher as a dark, tormented genius actually qualifies as one of its more plausible elements."

mental_floss

Today's Quiz of the Day is commonly misspelled words. It is deceptively difficult. (The link is only good today. It usually takes a few weeks for mental_floss to archive its quizzes. If you miss it, it should be up for Jan. 22 in about two weeks.)

Update On Textbook Woes

I have been saved from eating a textbook by my good friend Emily. Mad props to her.

Damn It!

I was sitting in the library, listening to Bob Dylan on my headphones and casually reading for my Wills & Estates class, carefully highlighting a passage from F.D.R. when I realized I had done something terrible.

The book I was reading was one I purchased from the campus bookstore for $83 bucks and was going to return once my much cheaper half.com copy arrived. Damn it! Now I can only return it to the store at the used price of $61. Thus, what was $30 in savings is now reduced to a meager $8. Damn, cruel fate! $22 dollars to color one lousy passage showing how crazy F.D.R. was.

Wednesday, January 21

Welcoming A Friend To The Blogosphere

This blog's best friend now has a Blog of his own. Most likely it will have a bit more slashdot-esque content and even more conservative political views. This blog is excited.

Tuesday, January 20

More of Howard Dean is an A**

Sorens's Blog has a nice Howard Dean post. The sad thing is that although I unquestionably despise Dean, I absolutely want him to win the Democratic nod. He would almost certainly lose to George W. My emotions, so mixed . . .

Back to School

Today marked the beginning of yet another semester. Although not 100 percent certain, I think the oil and gas law class I sat through may well have been the most boring 50 minutes of my entire life. This does not bode well.

On a happier note, I hope never to look at my paper ever again.

Monday, January 19

Howard Dean is an A**: Continued

Jonah Goldberg had this to say about the governor recently:

"The astounding nastiness of his style of politics gets written off or dismissed or misinterpreted. When he floats the theory that Bush had been tipped off by the Saudis about September 11, but adds that he personally doesn't believe it, he gets to make a charge without taking responsibility for it. Imagine if I said: 'The most interesting theory about Howard Dean is that he's a pederast. I don't believe it myself, mind you. But the theory's out there.' Most of us would recognize this as an outrageous smear. But hey, he's just having some fun."

[Thanks Torry.]

Happy MLK Day

It is with great pleasure that I report on behalf of all milquetoast whites in Gap sweaters that Black People Love Us!

[Thanks Mark.]

Sunday, January 18

Howard Dean is an A**

A negative Piece about Howard Dean? In the New York Times? "It can't be," you say. But it's true. Enjoy it!

Saturday, January 17

Cutting-Edge Insurance Product

Risk-averse Motorcyclists (oxymoron?) in Germany can purchase insurance to pay for speeding tickets on the Autobahn. Naturally, this has police up in arms.

Friday, January 16

My Family

Here you can find pictures of my terribly adorable nephews from their Christmas visit to Dallas.

Each picture is worth a thousand words. However, as my paper (currently 8,816 words) illustrates, a thousand words isn't worth much these days.

The Iowa Caucuses

Dave Barry provides a nice explanation of the caucuses. This will be helpful to my colleagues who were discussing the caucus/primary distinction this afternoon.

Windows Notice

If you run Windows, you need to get this important Security Update.

[Thanks Mark, an elitist Linux user.]

Critical Race Theory Sucks

While working on an article in the library today, I stumbled across this gem from Charles R. Lawrence III, Race, Multiculturalism, and the Jurisprudence of Transformation, 47 Stanford Law Review 819, 829 (1995):

"When a Vietnamese family is driven out of its home in a project by African- American youth, that is white supremacy. When a Korean store owner shoots an African-American teenager in the back of the head, that is white supremacy. When 33 percent of Latinos agree with the statement, "Even if given a chance, [African-Americans] aren't capable of getting ahead," that is white supremacy. When over 40 percent of African-American voters in California support proposition 187, the antiimmigrant initiative, that too is white supremacy."

What is perhaps more frightening is that supposedly scholarly journals across the country turn out similar nonsense.

Thursday, January 15

Social Mobility

Britain's The Economist reports the results of an interesting study out of Oxford. The surprising conclusion is that higher education is overrated as a factor in upward social mobility. Much more important are a person's interpersonal skills, appearance, manners, etc. An excerpt:

"'You see a lot of people from university who take three to six months to pick up the skills for an office job. They could do that by the age of 19 and start moving up. Instead they spend three years at college and then take a job they would have taken anyway.'"

Enjoy the article.

Moron Alerta

Streakers in Spokane, WA were in for a really unpleasant surprise. And, incidentally, it's pretty cold in the Northwest right now.

Weather Forecast: COLD

And people still say George W. stole the presidency from this Clown?

Nerd Stuff

Some nutty Swede put together a website that lets you type in whatever you want and hear it sung by famous popstars.

Redundant Link

This is one of the sites Yahoo! linked to, I know. However, I think this Blog is perhaps the only one that rival's Sorens's Blog.

Quirky Bits

Yahoo! has assembled a nice little collection of some of the weirdest things of the past year.

[Thanks Catherine.]

Things You Must See

Midgets in Canada try to pull a jet. If you ever find yourself feeling a little short on dignity, just recall this scene.

Bullsh**t

Apparently, Britney Spears really does believe in the sanctity of marriage. Who'd of thunk?

Wednesday, January 14

Really Bad People

Andrew Fastow, one of the Enron crooks gets 10 years in a plea bargain. Just think how many laws one has to break before somebody so rich will agree to 10 in the slammer. Too bad he's going to a cushy federal prison. It would be better if he was in a rough Texas prison in Huntsville.

Tuesday, January 13

German Engineering

Computers and potatoes come together in a special way in Berlin.

[Thanks Riekert.]

From Slashdot

Macworld UK reports that Microsoft is upset that HP plans to ship its iPod clone with iTunes preinstalled. If you are geeky, like Mark, who sent me the article, you will laugh at the line from a Microsoft rep:

"Windows is about choice - you can mix and match software and music player stuff. We believe you should have the same choice when it comes to music services."

Monday, January 12

Clemens to Pitch for Astros

Clemens signs with the Astros. And there was much rejoicing.

Sunday, January 11

**Dave Eggers Short Story**

Read This Story! Back in the summer, Dave Eggers, author of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (Buy It), did a reading at Book People here in Austin. He read This Story about a boy with a crush on the older woman who lived up the hill. It is incredibly funny. You really want to read it, I promise.

Hugi - Hahradi

This is what passes for a top standup act in other parts of the world.

[Thanks Catherine.]

Friday, January 9

Dallas Cowboys

In the Sports Guy's latest Column, he refers to the Cowboys-Panthers game from last weekend as "the perfect audition tape for Quincy Carter's NFL Europe résumé."

My Sad Existence

As I have mentioned on other occasions, my life currently consists primarily of writing a paper on discretionary disclosure of client confidences. Understandably, it is quite dull. Sadly, there is also a minimum page requirement. I could easily write 10 solid pages on the subject, but reaching 30 has proved something of a chore.

Here's the sad part: At about 11:30 this morning, I was thumbing through the law review handbook and discovered that although footnotes are to be single spaced, there should be a double space between footnotes. Immediately, I inserted the extra space between my footnotes. My paper jumped from 17 to 20 pages in length. And that has been the highlight of my day thus far.

Thursday, January 8

Polacks

Only Polacks would do This to fish.

Holy Crap

Watch televangelist Robert Tilton fart in these poorly made digital videos, perfect for anyone immature. Unfortunately, it does require RealPlayer.

[Thanks Riekert.]

Will on Rose

I love baseball, and I love the writing of George Will. Naturally, I really love it when he writes about baseball. Here is Will's take on Pete Rose's not-at-all-startling confessions.

Spears-Alexander Nuptials

ESPN asks what he was thinking. It was so hard to pick an answer. D, E, and F were all so good. (But I chose F.)

Some people crave attention so badly. I hope somebody still reads my Blog on occasion.

Wednesday, January 7

You Can't Kill The Rooster

Try if you want, but you can't kill the rooster.

Intersection of Sports and Entertainment

Now I am even less interested in the Arena Football League.

Inventive Inventions

I was talking with a guy named Clark in the library today about products we've thought of that the market hasn't made yet. I talked about my idea for a microwave that scans the barcode of processed foods like burritos and automatically cooks them for the right time.

He told me he wanted to make a solar-powered sigmoidoscope. But the problem was that it goes where the sun doesn't shine. (A sigmoidoscope is used in colonoscopies. I didn't know that, so the joke wasn't that funny at first.)

Tuesday, January 6

Damn Canadians

Tests confirmed that the Washington Holstein with mad cow disease was actually a damned Canuck.

Geekdom

While visiting my family for the holidays, my dad and I got to talking about spyware. He was particularly worried about various minions tracking his Internet usage because he likes to read about secret Nazi bases in Antarctica and vast networks of underground tunnels constructed by the Reich. Anyway, I told him he should never mention this hobby to women. He looked at me, incredulously, and said only "Why not?" To me, this was really funny. I love my dad.

On that note, I'm including this blurb from The Onion:

Captain Kirk's Life Flashes Before Dying Trekkie's Eyes

MILFORD, CT—Moments before dying, car-accident victim and hardcore Star Trek fan Glenn Schaefer saw Captain James T. Kirk's life flash before his eyes. "It's all coming back to me," said Schaefer, bleeding profusely and fading from massive head trauma. "The Salt Vampires of M-113, assisting Spock through the Pon Farr, outmaneuvering Khan Singh in the Mutara Nebula, the dilithium mines of Rura Penthe. I'm even seeing portions of the animated series and the Lost Years novels." Before taking his final breath, Schaefer turned to attending medical personnel and said, "It was... fun."

RIAA

The RIAA claim that P2P mp3 sharing is killing the music industry is untrue. Read this Article.

[Thanks Torry.]

Tech Watch

Execution Technology that needs to come to Texas.

[Thanks Mark.]

Tastelessness

It is beneath me to link to This Site, but I know some of you are not above reading this patently racist material.